Team Hot Mess Tanooki Suit

After drafting last and second to last the past two seasons, I was really hoping I'd have a higher selection this time around. Of course, since I have terrible luck, my randomly generated draft position was once again dead absolute last at number six overall. With HT not around and me never having sniffed the top of the charts (I finished a distant third for Ruins II and fifth for Fresh Meat II), this is the year I need do well. It's embarassing being the commissioner and never having even come close to a championship.

I broke out a super serious spreadsheet, found out all I could about contestants, and then came up with the perfect strategy: I would identify which team I thought would be the strongest and then take players from that team. Of course, this strategy hinged highly on me keeping my wits about me as we drafted. Having spread some warnings to the people above me NOT to draft Cara Maria, Yasmine had got inside my head as she threatened to steal CM from me -- again. See, I believed in Cara Maria so much that I wrote a post about her leaving the show last season even though she wasn't even on my team. She's spunky, she's quirky, she loves her horse, and she's an emotional powder keg. I had to have her. Desperate to secure her for my team, all hopes of having her fall down to me were dashed and I was thinking of how much I'd be willing to trade for her. Would offering my entire draft be enough?

Luckily I guilt tripped Yasmine into selecting someone else and Cara Maria became my first overall pick and my heart broke out into song. Specifically this one, "How do you solve a problem like Cara Maria?" Sure Cara Maria hasn't proven much, scoring a whopping three whole points last season (sent to Exile, tantrum, crying) but she has a ton of potential. Just from the previews alone I saw her hooking up with at least three different people. And then I highly suspected she was getting into something with Abe, thus securing a few more hookup points there. I knew Cara Maria wouldn't have pushed aside her acting and modeling career only to be kicked off early again. She means business this season. And don't forget that she was the number one overall pick from the entire Fresh Meat 2 cast last season. She performed really well during the try outs and she's got to be even more focused this time around. I predict a MVP type season from Ms. Sorbello.

As for my second pick, I struggled between which male to select. I took a hard long look at Derrick, Brad, and Vinny, knowing they wouldn't last through to my next picks. Rationally I should have selected Derrick because he's a fiercer competitor and has actually won a few of these Challenges while Brad continualy shoots himself in the foot, but the thing is I feel loyal to Brad. He was in the San Diego cast, I also owned him for Ruins 2, he can't spell, and after eight of these things he has to finally win one right? I want to be there for his breakthrough moment. The good/bad news is that Tori is back this season (hookup points!). If I recall correctly, she both keeps him balanced and aggravates him. They're apparently married now so I'm hoping that means Brad is ready to focus on winning. The terrible news is that I'm convinced the RED team sucks, and while Brad may be the alpha male there, they could be in for some major ass kicking.

There were a few intriguing veterans at my next slots: Dunbar, Luke, and Mandi. I had Mandi ranked very high actually and wanted to draft her but I knew one of my two double picks was going to be Camila already and I did not want to invest too heavily in the RED team. I could have gone with Luke here, to stick with my original "go with the best team" strategy but there's something about Luke I can't trust. I don't think the other cast members really like him; I saw an early exit. Playing it safe, I figured I'd better select the only team BLUE male left, Ty from D.C. I don't know anything about him except that he will probably re-hook up with his RW castmate Emily and that he's black. Athletically I'm hoping he's another Alton. Or at least not another Nick, please, not another Nick.

Oh the reason I was totally sold on Camila was that I read she had won the Spring Break Challenge. She's a winner and I wanted a winner's touch on this team. I felt extremely confident that I'd picked a dark horse star until Victor sent me this link: Camilla's Complete Meltdown. You need to watch it. It shows Camila having an epic level freakout after she bites into a pepper. She's drooling, she's crying, she's moaning, she's probably headed to a hospital. All this over a spicy pepper. I'm officially worried she's not going to last as long as I thought she was. Sigh.

With the last pick I was forced to pick Shauvon. Again. It's a cruel cruel world. At least boobs can't pop twice, can they?

Update: My team name has been changed to Tanooki Suit, in honor of Cara Maria's awesome bear suit.