Bottoms Up

Who was more crazy this episode? Brad or Kelly Anne? The obvious answer is Brad, since he not only got himself kicked off, but also fucked over his so called friend. In the after show, it was revealed that Darrell and Brad have a lot of man love and respect for each other and neither was willing to fully blame the other. Darrell even went so far as to suggest that Brad getting drunk was sort of his fault because he'd been egging Brad on to drink earlier in the night. Still, it makes no sense for Brad to have called out Darrell, since taking Darrell out wouldn't have netted him the money. He was only going to make the other champions giddy (which is why they stood by and did nothing).

But let's return to Brad later and focus on Kelly Anne. She's clearly insane! I mean, we knew that since she was dating Wes, but this was on another level. You'd think an episode that started off with her running around the house buck naked would have upped her attraction level but by the end of the hour I was so disgusted with her. I wouldn't play "pull my finger" with her, much less "just the ***," even if she's objectively pretty hot. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and side with Dunbar on this one. While maybe they didn't have total intercourse, no man is going to just say "yeah we did it" without a little something there. And as past videos clearly show, Kelly Anne has thrown herself at Dunbar in the past. I believe Dunbar, what say you?

But what made me really hate Kelly Anne was how poorly she treated Susie after Susie spent the whole night consoling her ("Noboddy's supposed to cry like this on their birthday... at least you got cake!"), and then slept in her bed, and generally went out of her way to make her feel better. Susie is the shining star here and she's not only a great competitor but a great person. Susie, Sarah, I want you guys on my team next time. For Kelly Anne to turn on Sterling Susie after an honest bout of strategizing, that was just uncalled for and evil.

But the real crazy part about Kelly Anne was that she called Dunbar a "dummy bear" in the heat of verbal battle. Dummy bear? Really? That sounds more like a term of endearment than anything negative. And she continued to refer to Dunbar by that name later, which leads me to believe that it actually was a term of endearment before. Okay, this may not sound crazy at first glance but think about it, it's a sure sign of mental stability mixing put downs and love terms. Trust me.

I'm just shocked (okay, not really) at how mentally unstable some of these people are. And the worst thing is, they know it going in. Kelly Anne's like "I'm not good at the mind stuff." And Brad's brain has proven time and time again to be a liability. And Darrell, well, poor Darrell lost his cool for two seconds and ended up going home without any money. Sigh, I thought you were a smarter man than that D. Enjoy poverty.

Actually let's talk about Derrick. There's no way he's not headed into the Ruins soon. Evan and Kenny will (and have been) manipulating the crap out of him, and for some reason he decided to start shaking the chain link fence on poor Sarah. This was after their team was well on their way to a victory and knowing that there was no way the Challengers would win. It wasn't like the Champions were making Derrick shake Sarah off to insure his not going into the Ruins, he just started doing it. And even tried to pry her fingers and toes off. Are you a total asshole? How can you pretend to be this nice family man and then try to make some girl fall off? I'd understand if that's what Kenny and Evan both did, but they were gentlemen and let their ladies go about their business. Derrick, what are you doing?! Your daughter just shed a tear for your soul.

Why hasn't MTV set up blogs for the characters during the challenge, and then simultaneously release them as the show plays? I need some in-depth analysis while the show is going on by all the players. How awesome would that be? It's not enough for me to see some sound bites and some post-show analysis. I want live blogs during the action.

Actually, what I'd really want is to get onto this show and become an embedded journalist and live blog the entire experience. I'm way overqualified for this job because I'd document everything, make podcasts with people while hiding in a shower stall, moblog the crap out of every moment, and generally contribute to the fight against boredom by constantly pushing us to play games and making lists. MTV needs more coverage of these challenges, and I'm just the person to do it.

It's just a real shame they won't accept weak skinny Asian people on the show. I'd be a certain shoo-in. Can we start a grassroots campaign here? Did I just sign up for a MTV.com member account in order to fulfill my destiny? Yes I did.

Btw, apparently Susie and Kim's duel went on for over an hour. She said she was trying to, at one point, drip water into Kim's eye as a fighting strategy. A whole hour spent hanging onto a rope and tugging at each other. Ouch. I'm torn because I need Kim to win since she's on my team but I love Susie. Next week's episode is going to be great, even if I was emotionally not ready for the cliffhanger.

Man, I can't blog coherently about this episode, there was just too much going on. Thanks for the wonderful live blog Yasmine, I can't believe you beat us to it, me and Victor were just talking about doing one!