Team Victory

I know it's presumptuous to name my team "Victory" but it's better than saying "Team Last Year's Third Place." I believe after entering last year's draft with too much brain and not enough heart, I've turned a corner toward a new strategy: go with my emotions. Sadly, most of the people I love on this season got plucked away from me but whatever, I'll win and then laugh all the way to the bank anyway. Speaking of, what are we playing for this season? I don't think I sent HT her band aids or MTV DVD yet, so I should get on that.

A quick prediction of how my team will do:

Landon is the Tim Duncan of this team. A big competitor in a small frame, a charming Tom Cruise-like smile, and a good track record for being a bridesmaid and sometimes the bride. This is the year it'll change. I guarantee that Landon makes it to at least WK6, and if he's paired with a halfway decent female, he's going all the way. Best possible pairing for him? Cara Maria. That's a duo I'd love to cheer for.

If I was actually super brave, I would have picked the Vinny and Sarah combo and just racked up bonus hook up point after bonus hook up point. Then again, Yasmine so eloquently showed me the video of Vinny having the hots for Jenn and we know she's not one to refuse a hook up. Love triangle? Vinny you double timing slut! Hum, maybe I'm glad I didn't take Vinny. I mean, his performance on the simple puzzle was enough to scare me off of him. As for Sarah, I have no doubt she's slated for a long run on this show. She's clearly Team Kenny but she's got enough charm to make all the roommates love her and she's not a fresh eyed newbie anymore. Sarah's going to be a power player this season and my ideal pairing for her would be Vinny since they'd probably be good in competition together -- among other things.

Did everyone else watch the clip of the Fresh Meat playing "Gay, Straight, Single, Taken?" I wish I had seen this before because then I would've certainly reached for Cara Maria immediately. As it is, I'm housing a half LGBT team with Ryan and Katelynn. There's definitely a dearth of non-normative sexual preferences this season (I don't count Carley or Theresa's "Oh I hooked up with a girl once" admissions as anything. I mean, c'mon.) so I'm proud to let my rainbow flag fly. What am I looking to Ryan for this season? I just need two hookups and one puke. That's it. I can't logically think that he'll last long in the competition since he's such a physical weak link but maybe he'll hang around long enough to test some of the guys' boundaries. Shouldn't they have cast another gay guy just to give Ryan some company? Hello?

As for Katelynn, I have high hopes for her. For one, she's tall. For two, she's semi-technically a guy. She should be a top female competitor right? I think she's a huge sleeper and I'm excited for her to flex her muscles and beat some bitches up. What I'm afraid of is that she'll try to play too nice and won't have the necessary aggressiveness to knock out the competition. I'm going to send her some psychic messages to step it up a notch. My ideal teammate for her would be any of the guys except Vinny. Maybe Jeff would be a good pairing.

So yes, as you can see, I'm slated for better than a third place finish this year. I'm already psyched for my top two finish. Team Victory!