Team Troubletones

After a few seasons of drafting with my head, I went all heart this time. Cara Maria returns to her rightful position as my team captain and last time this happened -- during Cutthroat -- it was my best fantasy season yet. This time, paired up again with her feces throwing ex Abram, I see nothing but crushing victory for my side. As I pointed out in my all time scoring post, Cara Maria is a top five player by average and since there's no Laurel, Jenn, Tyler, or Luke around, she's the first logical pick, going by stats. So while my heart was 1000% into this selection, the numbers back me up. Nobody's messing with Abram this season, not with CT around to play villain, and I can't see Abram/CM going anywhere but toward the finals. I just hope they make up and do some more crazy stuff. It's good to have you back CM, I've missed you.

As for Emily from DC, I predicted a breakout season for her soon and this is gonna be it. She's Laurel-lite, but without the baggage of everyone hating her. Emily is tall, athletic, socially adept, and very competitive. There's no way she's not going to make out with someone (and like CM, she'll go both ways) and the only landmine I can see for her future is her partner, Ty. I've had Ty before and he's useless and his weak showings in the Challenges have left a bad taste in everyone's mouth, but I'm hoping that he'll not drag Emily down too much. If nothing else, I'll have to two hottest contestants around with my top selections. If HT's old "pick the best looking players" strategy still works, I'm headed for a championship as Emily is the perfect Pippen to Cara Maria's Jordan -- in the attractive department, if not athletically.

For some reason, Jasmine dropped like a stone, despite putting up one of the greatest rookie years of all time last season. Sure most of it was fueled by some beginner's luck but she proved that she was capable of all kinds of shenanigans. Indeed, the trailer gives her at least two instances of bonus points and even if she doesn't make it far like last season, she's capable of being an impact player in a short time. Now that I think about it, we should award some points for getting tossed off the show, and if there was one person is likely to get thrown off this season, it's Jasmine! I'm excited to tally how many inanimate objects she breaks this season. She like really hates glass and other shiny things.

With my last pick, I solidified my all female team by going with Sarah. I know, I know, she's been pathetic since Ruins 2. I don't know what happened to her actually. Once upon a time she was a rising star but ever since she kissed Vinny it's been all downhill. Unfortunately, she's Ninny's partner again and I have no hopes that she'll go far. I only picked Sarah because I assume she'll hang on a few episodes beyond the absolute newbies and maybe she'll be good for one cry. Remember back when Sarah was likeable and actually cool? Man, that seems like so long ago. The bad blonde hair dye job is not working either, not at all.

I feel pretty good about my team this season, especially looking over everyone else's rosters. I don't think I have the best lineup, but I am assured of at least a good finish. What am I saying? This is finally my year to win! Last year I drafted too many males and this time I'm going to win with an Amazon quartet that is destined to rack up the points. Remember, "The Troubletones are 3F: fierce, femme, phenomenal!" And in three months, they'll be winners too.