Deflated

Let's get fired up. In successive weeks I've lost two of my favorite players to circumstances largely outside of their control, and now I've lost the will to compete. I think there's a bias in the house against "alternative" people. First they toss Cara Maria with her horsey spirit and then Sarah and Vinny with their tattoos. I mean, it would have helped if Vinny could hold his breath for more than three seconds. Amazing Sarah was under there for almost a full minute just by herself! Sarah is a class A swimmer as she revealed from last season, so I thought they were a shoo-in. This confirms that for all their muscles and machismo, guys from New York and New Jersey (or maybe even most of the East Coast) are totally useless because they can't swim a lick. Seriously, I've never met so many people unable to swim until I met New Yorkers. I know it's hard to find a pool in the urban sprawl but c'mon, fear of water is for like little kids and high density dwarves. Learn to swim already.

For the record, this is the one challenge I'm sure I could have won. Maybe that box was heavy and the water was freezing but I can hold my breath forever underwater. Despite smoking and lack of exercise, my lungs have been trained to operate on very little air. I'm glad that over ten seasons or so of this show, there's one challenge I feel 100% confident I would have won. On the flip side, I don't think I could even lift ninety pounds, much less walk up a hill, so that would have eliminated me immediately. There's a reason I'm not selected for these challenges.

The good news for me is that Carley's bosom doubles as a floatation device so her team won pretty easily. Actually, Carley has proven to not be a liability at all and as a duo, her and Landon have done quite well in both challenges. And now with Landon throwing his "no politics" ideals to the wind, he's in a power position. Well, until Weselyn stabs him in the back. I don't understand why these guys refuse to play the game. Everyone knows that the Challenges aren't about the physical aspects of the game, and half the cast have voiceovers talking about "the importance of alliances, etc." Yet traditionally Darrell, Landon, and other strong competitors refuse to buddy up. Thank goodness Landon saw the light and worked together with the red headed devil to get it done.

Do we love seeing Eve being a conniving contestant or what? Last year we got such a watered down Eve but this year she's out for (Kenny's) blood! Anyone know what happened between Wes and Kelly Anne? I need to know!

Let's talk about what should be happening from here on out. If I were the Fresh Meat, I'd band together and toss out both Kenny and Wes. They are clearly not in full positions of power and the FM have a great opportunity here to establish their dominance. Clearly there's a lack of cooperation between the veterans so a smart FM leader should emerge. I nominate Noor, who for some unknown reason voted differently than Jenn (don't they talk to each about this stuff beforehand?). Then again, Noor looks like another strong but non-politricking competitor. Really? You're gonna vote for Pete and Jillian? Don't be dumb Noor.

So who else can lead Team Fresh Meat? Laurel and Mandi will never leave Kenny and Wes' side. In the same way, Luke is compromised by being Eve's partner -- and his slow debilitation from not having drugs as the show goes on. Jeff has proven to be useless in not only the competitions but also the show in general. I can't remember if he was the ex-wannabe-Seal or whatever but where's he been? Brandon is a useless goof ball. Sydney is straight useless. Theresa is less than that (see paragraph below). So we're looking at Pete, Sandy, or Carley to lead the revolt. Pete would obviously be the poster boy for this sort of thing. Throw his alpha dog-dom into the ring. But no, I can't see it happening. He's too weak in personality and his good looks won't carry him very far. The answer then is, yes, the overachiever: Sandy.

She must use her giggly persona to hide a vicious competitive side. If her Asian American parents raised her right she has a killer (academic) instinct. Her best move is to convince Carley/Landon to lead the charge. Only one of the vets needs to turn and Landon will probably be willing to do it. If Sandy plays this right she can be the sleeper queen of the game, letting someone else be the figure head (who will eventually get chopped) but pulling the strings behind the scenes. What have we seen that indicates Sandy is capable of doing something like this? Well, nothing. But I need someone to cheer for and something to cheer for now that my dear Cara Maria and Sarah are off the show.

Put your faith in Sandra -- it's more mature -- and she will reward us with the greatest season of the Challenge ever. Or we'll just watch as Kenneth and Weselyn fight to the death, with Landon emerging as the overall champion. I'm fine with that too.

Also, this Open Letter to Theresa is a must read. She is going to be so embarrassed about this reality television experience in a few years. Heck, a few weeks. Way to be Captain Obvious Theresa, we know you need sex. Okay, we got it. Wes and Kenny are just going to toss her to the wind and are only using her because she's around. Feminists of the world, here is your new non-role model.