Before the Finale

As we head into the last episode, I wanted to take a chance and see how our drafts stacked up and which players impressed and which ones depressed. Our season rosters are here, and the draft recap is here. Teams will be presented in reverse order of standings -- which is almost exactly the reverse order of our draft, except for Yasmine's team. Weird right?

Team Missing (36)
Well, we might have doubted Dan's choice of Theresa as the number one overall but choice but he was right about one thing: Theresa would be the leader of his team. She started things off right with a tantrum, ended it with some crying, and was only eliminated during the very last Gulag. Unfortunately, Dan's next best player was Chet, the secret lothario who might have made some impact had he not been medically eliminated. He and Eric weren't too bad overall -- Eric even won a Gulag -- but Derek Chavez and Ayiiia were pretty useless, and by WK5, three of Dan's players were already off the board. During the last pre-finals episode, Dan's entire team was eliminated, the only team to suffer that fate this season. Hey, it's his rookie season and things can only get better right?

Team Flesh Machine (41)
Victor certainly had his picks lined up perfectly. Each descending round produced a player that scored lower than the person above them. The problem was, after Laurel and Tori, there was a huge drop off to Vinny, Mandi, and Emilee. In fact, the latter three combined for eights points the entire season, which was about half of what Laurel and Tori each put up. Victor's team was three-fifths gone by WK5, but they continued to fight hard and both of his first round picks won Gulags are headed toward some finals points. It may be time to re-evaluate his "draft the good looking girls" strategy, even if it's proven to work well for him in the past. Laurel stirred up enough competitive juice to thrust herself into the third highest individual score, even if she started off awfully slow, before finally hitting her She-Hulk stride.

Team I Will Shout You Down (57)
No longer a rookie, Kim came back this season with a vengeance. Her team was solid all the way across the board, except for J.D., who was kind of worthless and was eliminated by WK3. The remaining four players all scored at least a dozen points though, and feisty Katie survived two hard fought Gulags before finally being eliminated. Paula and Emily are still around for the finals, even if spiritual leader Johnny Bananas was taken out in epic fashion during the last Gulag. Kim's team had an oustanding WK3, where they racked up fourteen points in just one episode! There was only one other week where a team scored more than double digits, and that was just eleven. Also of note, if someone had thrown up, Kim's team would have gotten a super hat trick, scoring in every category possible. Not bad for a sophomore effort.

Team Hot Bitch (60)
We dubbed this squad "team boring" and looking over her roster, there really wasn't much excitement for George except from Brandon, who was sent into the Gulag four times, winning three of them in fantastic fashion before being tossed by his Hot Bitch teammate, Derrick. George expected big things from Jenn as her first round pick, but Jenn managed to slip through the season not picking up any extracurricular points, and avoiding the Gulag altogether. I almost want to give Jenn a crazy point just for being so under the radar. Out of the first six picks, Jenn's eleven points is the lowest of the first round picks. I guess a team of veterans like Jenn, Derrick, Melinda, and Dunbar was just kind of ho hum?

Team Tanooki Suit (60)
Leading for much of the season, Jon's team started out on fire as Cara Maria and Camila racked up bonus points left and right. Cara Maria did the hooking up, Camila did the shouting and crying, and they both defended themselves in the Gulag -- three awful times for new girl Camila. They tied with eighteen points apiece for the individual points lead this season, and Cara Maria is guaranteed to become the top scorer overall. Not bad for a girl who tweet teased that she was going to be eliminated in episode two. Team Tanooki's lead dwindled though, as Ty and Shauvon took early exits and Brad was just about as vanilla as Jenn. Actaully, he was exactly as vanilla as Jenn, not racking up any bonus points. Yawn.

Team Buck Nekkid (71)
Maybe we mocked Yasmine's "all gray" strategy as the band of misfits started off slow but starting the middle of the season, Team Gray went on a run and Yasmine took a strong lead into the final week. Abram and Luke proved that small is big, as they tied for the fourth and fifth best individual performances. Yasmine didn't lose a single player until WK7 (Dan), and each of her five people finished in double digits. Interestingly, her top two players avoided the Gulag altogether. Even the lone non-Gray team member, Tyler, has proven his worth by using his fat ass to hold CT down long enough to eliminate Johnny. With four players still fighting in the last episode, Yasmine could catapult herself into an easy Cutthroat championship. Someone stop her!