Scores: Week 3

STANDINGS
HT: +7 (35)
Yasmine: +17 (34)
George: +4 (31)
Kim: +9 (28)
Victor: +8 (25)
Jon: +8 (20)

Wow, a truly outstanding week from Marlon! It's nigh impossible to top Anastasia's 13 pts last week but it sure seemed like Marlon was engaged in everything this week. Making out, possible sex, almost fighting, everything! I wish he and Jordan had won the challenge too, as Jordan really deserved it for being like Spider-Man. He's amazing!

Yasmine doubled her score to vault into second place, on the strength of Marlon, Sarah, and Aneesa all scoring five points each. Sarah is gone now, but she went out with some points. HT narrowly holds onto the top spot but she's lost Anastasia and Derek in successive weeks, can she keep scoring? Kim's team has been quietly keeping pace with contributions all around -- except for invisible man Ty -- and could WK3 be already the time when CT fades? George's team only put up 4 points after two straight weeks in double digits. Uh oh?

Detailed scoring: check the spreadsheet.

COMPETITION POINTS:
Win Weekly Challenge: Frank, Johnny, Emily, Paula
Sent to Elimination: Derek, Robb, Knight, Preston
Win Elimination: Knight, Preston
Eliminated Contestants: Derek, Robb

BONUS POINTS:
Crying: Aneesa, Sarah
Kissing: Marlon/Derek, Marlon/Nany
Physical Confrontation: Aneesa, Trishelle
Booted Off Show: Sarah

Scoring Notes: There could be a case made that Marlon and Knight had a physical fight but seeing as they didn't touch each other, it was voted down. As for Marlon and Derek's interactions, there was definitely physical contact but we're not sure if it was kissing or sex -- or going down, etc -- so we just went with hooking up in general. Otherwise, we gave Sarah the points for leaving involuntarily and gave Trishelle nothing for being a quitter. What's with the not showing who reads the clue? What are you doing to us MTV? We need our points!

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Scores: Week 2

STANDINGS
HT: +19 (28)
George: +11 (27)
Kim: +10 (19)
Victor: +10 (17)
Yasmine: +8 (17)
Jon: +6 (12)

There's really nothing else to talk about except Anastasia's incredible week. I mean, she pretty much racked up almost every conceivable bonus point from crying, to sex, to medical professionals showing up. At the end of the day, she dropped an incredible thirteen points on her way out the door, vaulting HT into first place. Incredible, a Hall of Fame performance, especially from a rookie.

CT continued his strong performance but I'm starting to think he may slow down, especially with Wes incurring a penalty for their challenge disqualification. Next week's male elimination will be interesting as this season is shaping up to be one of our absolute favorites.

Detailed scoring: check the spreadsheet.

COMPETITION POINTS:
Win Weekly Challenge: Zach, Trey, Emily, Paula
Sent to Elimination: Cara Maria, Cooke, Anastasia, Jessica
Win Elimination: Cara Maria, Cooke
Eliminated Contestants: Anastasia, Jessica

BONUS POINTS:
Crying: Anastasia, Frank
Kissing: CT/Anastasia, Jordan, Sarah
Sex: CT/Anastasia
Physical Confrontation: CT, Frank, Anastasia
Crazy Ass Tirade: Anastasia
Medical Professional: Anastasia

Scoring Notes: We gave Anastasia points for both slapping CT and tirading on him -- the little kicks to his crotch, hilarious. There was a wink of a notion to add Knight to the physical confrontation since he got headlocked by Frank, but it was determined Knight was just in the way. Also, I swear Zach was crying when he and Trey were voting for Cooke/Cara Maria to go into the Jungle -- photo evidence and the audio of him sniffling -- but it wasn't a strong enough case.

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Podcast: Interview with Frank

Jacoby and Juliet Litman lands an exclusive with Frank and it's a fantastic podcast episode where Frank is uncensored and hilarious. He's instantly become a new fave!

The Right Reasons Podcast and Video: With Special Guest Frank Sweeney
After 24 seasons of The Challenge, there are a certain number of questions that I have about every season. How much time do you get from "the call" until the show starts? Does the cast really not know what the premise will be before TJ tells them? How easy is it to have sex off-camera? What about drugs? This week, infamous alcopsychoholic and current cast member Frank Sweeney came to the Grantland studio. Frank, as you might expect, did not hold back at all. It turns out that he hates CT just as much as that fight on Wednesday might suggest. He also talks about his previous explosive fights, what we don't get to see, his experimentation with huffing in Thailand, the extreme sweatiness of this season, and much, much more. If you care at all about The Challenge, give this one a listen. (7/19/2013)

And of course Jacoby's Grantland reality fantasy league column from the past week, "Dark Liquor, Flying Cobras, and Huffing Keyboard Cleaner," as always, a winner!

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Scores: Week 1

STANDINGS
George: +16 (16)
HT: +9 (9)
Kim: +9 (9)
Yasmine: +9 (9)
Victor: +7 (7)
Jon: +6 (6)

Well look at that, George scored forty points total all of last season and she's already accrued almost half of that in just one episode this season. She even got an elusive team hook up point for CT and Diem, one that could continue all season long. Behind her number one overall pick CT, who had two hookups and a fight, George could be a contender this year...finally.

The interesting twist thrown out during deliberations -- opposite sexes pick the Elimination contestant -- must be reflected in our standings as Victor and Jon currently trail all the ladies. HT, Kim, and Yasmine are a few steps behind George, and we must shout out Robb here as he definitely came through for Kim by winning Elimination and reading the clue. Is the other ginger actually going to stick around a bit this season? We can't wait till Wednesday to find out which girls get thrown into the elimination!

Detailed scoring: check the spreadsheet.

COMPETITION POINTS:
Win Weekly Challenge: Zach, Trey, Emily, Paula
Sent to Elimination: Derek, Robb, Tyrie, Dunbar
Win Elimination: Derek, Robb
Eliminated Contestants: Tyrie, Dunbar

BONUS POINTS:
Reading the Clue: Robb
Crying: Naomi, Cooke, Diem
Kissing: CT/Diem, CT/Anastasia
Team Hookup: George (CT/Diem)
Physical Confrontation: CT, Marlon
Blurcle: Tyrie, Trey

Scoring Notes: We easily voted down Jordan for a physical confrontation point as he was just trying to back up his partner. And while I couldn't tell whose white butt got blurcled while farting on Tyrie, Jacoby said, "Now, as if passing out mid-poop butt naked wasn’t Challengey enough, Trey then went over to him, took his pants down, and farted on him."

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Podcast: The Challenge Is Back

Jacoby and Juliet are here to recap the season premiere of Ruins II. As always, they are hilarious and exactly on point! "We've rounded up a bunch of alcohol-loving crazy people, and the gang's all here! That's right, The Challenge has made its glorious return, this time in Phuket, Thailand, for Rivals II. The 90-minute premiere gave us a lot to digest, and we did our best to hit all the highs (CT in the pool with a T-shirt) and the lows (the presence of Trey)."

The Right Reasons Podcast: The Challenge Is Back
Juliet Litman and David Jacoby celebrate the return of 'The Challenge,' talk about the 'Big Brother' controversy, and get excited about Fritos. (7/12/2013)

And don't miss Jacoby's weekly Grantland reality fantasy league column, starting with this one, "The Return of God's Chosen Sport."

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Team Ready to Blow

The team name is based on my temperamental crew, of course. All of these folks have been known for losing their temper, though some more so than others.

While I was anxiously awaiting the next Challenge show, I found myself completely ill prepared when draft time actually rolled around. Yes, I had watched the latest season of Real World and of course was familiar with the latest rookies. However, I didn't have time to watch the Challenge Trailers, Sneak Peaks, or read up about the rules. It was only dumb luck that my team ended up split male/female, as I didn't even realize that we were going to have a guys and girls winner. Given all this, there wasn't a whole lot of strategy behind my team picks. My overall aim was to pick players that were both athletic and dramatic. I actually think that many of the players on this season have decent athletic prowess, and so the challenge was to figure out which were the players that were going to hook up and cry their way to the top. I'm pleased with how my team ended up. However, since I have never won in the league, I won't get my hopes up too much.

Frank - He was a points queen last season, so hopefully he won't fail this time around. He cries, he fights, he's athletic. I don't know that I'll get any hook ups out of him, but I think he'll stick around the season for a while, especially since he's paired with Johnny.

Paula - First, she's paired with powerhouse Emily. Second, she's shown that she can win a Challenge. Third, she typically cries. A lot. Perhaps I'll also get a few blurcles out of her.

Nany - Well, she got a bit angry last season, and this time around she's paired with Jonna, a lady who looks wimpy but that held her own last time around. Plus, maybe she'll hook up?

Ty -Crazy Ty, I'm hoping for a good explosion or two this time around. His partner Leroy was pretty amazing when paired up with Mike Mike a little while back, so I'm hoping the two of them can pull it together for this season. Plus if I couldn't get my beloved Leroy, I thought Ty would be the next best.

Robb - Well, he was my last choice, but maybe it will pan out. I think Derek is actually a great competitor, so if they can hang on politically, I think they're athletic feats can keep them around. Hopefully we'll have another shirt-ripping episode, but I don't have my hopes up too much for him. Then again, last season I didn't have much faith in my last pick JD, and he ended up making it to the finals. So we shall see how Robb fairs.

The player who got away this season: CT. Then again, he's always the player that got away. What a points machine. Really, what a machine in general! Hopefully he doesn't play Diem too much. I still think they're kinda cute together, even if he can be an ass.

I have to say that MTV's decision to have the opposite sex decide who goes in each week is brilliant. What better way to foster duplicitous hook ups? Seriously brilliant.

And as for TJ, he's not the most charismatic of hosts and yet there he is season after season. Is he tied into the production of the show somehow? Or do others just find him more charming than I do? He's sorta like an old friend at this point, but I'm still kinda surprised that he continues to be the host.

Well, here's to this next season!

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Team Second Best

Sad to say, one of the highlights of my life right now is The Challenge draft. Every season, the excitement builds as I cross my fingers that I get to pick a batshit crazy, horny, athletic team.  Not sure I got that team this season, but I dub them "second best" because I think their partners are batshit crazy, horny, and athletic enough to carry the both of them to victory.  Here's how I picked:

1. Wes -- Wes seems to have a brain and use it occasionally to strategize alliances, but the main appeal here is that he's partnered with CT who scares everybody and rightly was picked #1 by George. Hopefully the CT-Wes combo make for a powerful team.

2. Sarah -- Sarah seemed the logical pick for the next best girl here. She knows how to strategize and is partnered with Trishelle who is also very manipulative. I think these two veterans can bully their way to a power position.  Plus I think Sarah gets some action?

3. Marlon -- At this point I was debating between Marlon, Trey, and Cooke. The MTV bio said that Marlon played college football and hooks up with a guy and a girl. Drama! Plus he is partnered with one-handed Jordan who is also athletic and slutty. The one-hand did not seem to me to be a big disadvantage as it seems that Jordan is very capable, so this did not worry me. I was having dinner with Jon at the time who would not help me at all with my pick and kept his pick secret since he was picking after me. He ended up picking Leroy who I was not considering, so chill out! I think Ty will sink that ship.

4. Trey -- Trey was still available! I wanted Trey because he's partnered with no other than Zach, aka Thor. Trey is unlikeable, but athletic. With Zach, they could be a team to be reckoned with.

5. Aneesa -- One word: "Trashelle." Watch the trailer again and you'll hear it. Beat her up Aneesa! Also, she's partnered with CT's ex, Diem. Hopefully CT-Diem form an ex-lovers alliance, and Aneesa gets the benefits?

"Just go for second best, baby. Put your love to the test." Those are the words, right Madonna?

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Team Mjolnir

Just look at my team leader, yes, it's Thor Odinson, the god sent from Olympus to save us all, aka Zach Nichols. I don't know if you recall, but last season Zach pretty much single handedly killed everyone else. Standing at an imposing eight feet ten inches, nobody is going to want to mess with Zach this year, even CT. (Although that is a matchup I'm dying to see!) Seriously, how did Zach drop to me at pick #5? I can only think that it's the potential weakness of Trey. But c'mon, Zach should be able to carry his team to the finals at least. Plus he's gonna get some hookup points for sure, just look at that hunk of a man/god!

I think this is Sarah's year, and teamed up with Trishelle, it's clear they'll have the veteran savvy to take it far. I debated between taking Sarah and Trishelle but let us not forget that Trishelle dragged Dustin last year to a second place finish in Battle of the Seasons. Sarah will always get her cry points, but I'm banking on Trishelle to do have more drama this season. Also, my entire team was named The Thrishelles last season, so the choice was easy. Trishelle and Sarah are both sneaky athletic, so I see them being the top women's team.

The other night, while the first few rounds for the draft were happening, Yasmine and I were sitting around when her pick came up. She asked who she should pick. Haha, I led her totally the wrong direction with my deviousness because I was picking directly after her. She debated between Trey, Cooke, and Marlon, and while she tried to get my super secret selection from me, I blanked her out, confident that she was way off the scent. As we walked down Leroy Street to get food at Daddy-O's, I chuckled to myself. "Leroy street! We're eating on Leroy Street and she doesn't even notice! (Literally, click on this image.)" My reasoning for taking Leroy is that on the first Rivals, he got to the finals while dragging along the absolute uselessness of Mike. Now, paired up with even an average partner, he'll be a force to be reckoned with. Sure Ty can be a hit-or-miss partner but we know they're both big, black, and strong. Who's gonna mess with them? Also, Leroy is a super nice guy and the other contestants like having him around. He was my sleeper and I hoped to get him mid-rounds and it all worked out nicely, thanks to Yasmine's "I'll take Mr. One Hand's partner" pick. Woohoo!

I was obviously hoping for Cara Maria to drop to me in the fourth but it was not to be. Victor snatched her up, again, and I was left to sort through the detritus that was the rest of the people left. There were no good guys left, by far, and so I had to choose between a raft of girls that held no promise. I went with Jasmine for the drama points, and am going to hope she stays feisty. In retrospect, I think I should have gone with Diem because I suspect she will do some good veteran sticking around -- even with the Aneesa anchor on her team. Oh well, Jasmine it is!

Last pick: Knight. Misogynist, dummy, drunk, asshole. I hated him hard core last season but between him Preston, Dunbar, and Tyrie, it was a no brainer. Knight was shown in the previews stirring stuff up so that will probably get him ousted soon. But hey, I'll take his drama points! Also, I do recall Knight somehow being the voice of reason by the end of his time on Battle of Seasons. So maybe he's cooled off a little.

All in all, I feel like my team is a super squad, like the Avengers. Sure I don't have Tony Stark or Captain America, but with Thor/Zach on my side, I feel ready to contend this year. Oh right, "Mjolnir" is the name of Thor's magical hammer, in case you didn't geek out to the comics. Mjolnir, away!

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Team One Hand Wonder

I wish I had some sort of excuse for my lame drafting for this season. I read the cast bios and made my list of players, but there was a clear disconnect somewhere after the first round.

Johnny has proved time and time again that he can make it to a final. I can't put my finger on what it is because he isn't the strongest guy out there, but maybe he is the smartest? Is he? I have no idea, but I don't doubt my decision for a second.

For the next round, I picked Jordan. I was heavily swayed by the fact that I saw Sarah canoodling with him on the extended preview. Sarah is attracted to strong, dominate types, so I figured that he must have something going for him. Oh, and he only has one hand? I guess I saw that as a cool quirk and not a challenge hindrance.

After I picked up Jordan, I was like... "Yeah... I got my secret weapon," bathing in some challenge draft groove sauce thinking I was going to pick Jemmye next and have an all J name team. Then Jon emailed and said that CT was going to eat Jordan's other hand for breakfast. Bubble officially burst.

George then picks up Jemmye right before MY TURN!!!! Team 5 J's abandoned. *sigh*

That sent me scrambling, re-reading cast bios and just picking anyone that had mention of hooking up. So that's how I got Theresa. And I saw Anastasia hook up with CT on the extended preview so that was that. And Derek is pretty loose so I am hoping he gets some action this season as well.

There you have it. Just as Jon had Trishelle as his team mascot in a previous challenge, Jordan is mine this season. Single handed winner. Oh shoot... One Hand Wonder would be a better name! Jon - can I change my team name on the fantasizr?!

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Rivals II: Rosters & Draft

And as a fun bonus, it's Jacoby's MTV Challenge Draft Scouting Report!

George: CT, Jonna, Jemmye, Diem, Jessica
HT: Johnny, Jordan, Theresa, Anastasia, Derek
Kim: Frank, Paula, Nany, Ty, Robb
Yasmine: Wes, Sarah, Marlon, Trey, Aneesa
Jon: Zach, Trishelle, Leroy, Jasmine, Knight
Victor: Emily, Camila, Cara Maria, Cooke, Preston

Undrafted: Dunbar, Tyrie

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What Was I Thinking?

I'm kind of nervous about this Rivals 2 season. The first Rivals season was my worst showing EVER and judging by some of my picks, I may have set myself up for failure.

I am still in shock that I actually drafted a guy with one hand as my second pick! I do not know what I was thinking. There were still so many good players left. If I had the chance to do it over, I think I would have gone with Leroy.

Our draft has not even been completed yet and I already have some major team envy. George has CT and Jemmye. Why am I all worked up over Jemmye?! I don't think I even like the girl nor do I recall her performance on previous challenges. Maybe her accent grew on me because that is just about the only thing I remember about her. "Kniiiiiight!" I have no idea!

Clearly, I have lost my mind.

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Rules and Scoring: Rivals II

Last season we got the rules down pretty smooth: clarifying the bonus awarded for finals, firming up crying points, adding sex points, and also bonuses for getting involuntarily leaving the show. Barring any rule changes, everything should about the same save for format. We'll assume it'll be like the original Rivals season so we'll use those rules for now.


DRAFT

• Six team owners will each select five players each, in a snake style draft.
• If any contestant shows up midway through the game, they are given to the team that loses all of their players first. Retroactive points do not count however, only once they appear on the team do their scores start tabulating.
• There will be two players left over and they will be available for selection by the team(s) that get all their players eliminated first. So if all your players are out by WK5, you get to select one of the originally undrafted players for the remainder of the season.

SCORING and POINTS
Format should be the same as for Rivals I, excepting whatever the themed elimination will be called this year.

Competition Points (awarded per episode)
+1 point for each week your person stays on the show
+1 point for winning the weekly Challenge (each individual on the winning team gets this)
+1 point for being sent into the Elimination
+1 point for winning the Elimination

Bonus Points (awarded per episode)
+2 point for kissing (romantic, carnal, or via dare, not for congratulatory or "hello" pecks)
+2 point for sex (must be shown on-camera, or acknowledged by both parties, with no doubt)
+1 bonus point if you own both contestants who hooked up
+2 points for getting into a physical fight
+2 points for "crazy ass tirade," including throwing or breaking things
+2 points for going to the hospital, or being treated by a medical professional
+2 points for throwing up, from drinking, exhaustion, food poisoning, etc. Throwing up should be on camera, not just gagging sounds
+2 points for crying, must be a very clear case of crying, not just red face, puffy eyes, watery eyes, but actual tears
+3 points for getting booted off the show, be it physical altercation, safety reasons (injuries), etc. Does not apply if the person chooses to leave the show
+1 points for having a body part blurcled (only awarded once per episode, and for nudity versus logo blocking out, or flicking someone off, etc.)
+1 point for reading the clue

Finals Points
+5 for making the finals (awarded to everyone who makes the finals)
+7 for being the overall winner (awarded only to members of the final team)

Any subjective calls will be cleared up by arguing and then voting. Below were the details laid out for some of the subjective rules:

• It has to be shown or be provable on camera, then from there we can vote/argue about if something constituted a hook up.
• No "extras" or "behind-the-scenes" specials or aftershows or "web clips" don't count.
• You are awarded one bonus point for each instance of hooking up (but not for each instance of crying). If Veronica hooks up with Cyrus and MJ during the episode, that's +2. However, if she hooks up with Cyrus over and over that episode, that's just +1. If they hook up again next episode though, then they can get more points.
• Hook ups aren't just kissing, or a congratulatory peck. There should be some level of lust and passion, some measure of potential hookupability. Example, Laurel and Pete's Truth or Dare kiss in Meet the Meat counts as a hook up.
• A three way kiss only awards +2 to each participant (not +4 each).
• Examples of a crazy ass tirade was Eve going bananas and knocking things around the house after getting sent in against Kelly Anne, or Katie going nuts after the plunger incident in her bed.
• Physical fights, do they include wrestling? I say yes, like if two people engage in an attempt to do physical harm, even if it's not actually punching/kicking, that's a point.

ARBITRATION DETAILS
Majority wins the vote-offs (which must be done before the next episode). If there are five owners voting, that should be easy. However, if two separate owners have to abstain because it's their contestants involved, then it's four voters. Ideally a 3-1 majority would take it but if there is a tie, then no points are rewarded. Try to be objective if you can, when voting. And we can cite previous precedent or whatever in our arguments. No bribing though!

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